I am loosing the art of simplicity. I am loosing the ability to hear.
I have been raised and trained to think critically from a Biblical worldview. Its been amazing and I loved every second of it until I sort of hit a wall. I started making connections I didn't want to make, I started answering my own questions before I stopped to ponder and pray. I started listening to my own brain rattle on inside my head instead of letting the Spirit of the Lord fill me.
I don't know where I fell off. I'm loosing my passion for missions, all I want to do these days is move out to a little farm somewhere and do nothing but read and sleep and eat and look out the window.
I'm feeling crazy and confused and bitter and broken and trapped.
Oh Lord, enable me to live and breathe the passage: "Be still and know that I am God."
Ah Audrey what a heavy heart I sense in this post. Like those words came out of the depths of your cry to Jesus.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, sweet bloggy friend. I'm trying to think of a good scripture reference to encourage you. First of all, remember Psalm 45:11, "The king is ENTHRALLED by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord." You are His daughter, saved, redeemed, restored by the Father and He LOVES you more than you can imagine. Never forget that, even when the darkness comes.
Secondly, I think the song that is popping into my head is the "The Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets. They may be empty to you now but God truly does have a plan for you and He will hold You close even as You question and seek Him out.
Lots of love in Christ,
Molly