Broken

Sometimes, I feel so helpless, so alone, thinking about those children around the world who truly are utterly broken and abandoned. I feel this weight, thinking that it all depends on me, wanting to scream for the church to stand up, to look around, to open their eyes. How can we keep sitting here comfortably? How is the plight of the one lonely, scared, hungry child not our focus all the time? How can we be so ready to get all worked up about the economic decline in our country, when most of us have never missed a meal in our lives? And how can one person make a difference for so many? How can I keep having hope?

Today, my hope is drained.

Today my heart is broken, my hands and feet are screaming to move, to work, to go.

I so rarely fall back to this place of desperation now, that I don't even know what to do about it.

It is so much easier to keep your head in the right place when you're actually on a mission trip or in a third world country, because your calling is right in front of your face all the time - and you are FORCED to be completely dependent on God's mercy.

But that is the problem, isn't it? I've lost hope, because I've ceased to depend upon Him. I feel like a failure because I've got it into my head that it is mine, my duty, my strength. But it isn't. It's not my way or my will or my strength or my hope or my love or my courage--- its His.

And He never fails.

And His plans are never thwarted.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

~2 Corinthians 14:9~

His strength is made perfect in my weakness! How beautiful and relieving! Really, Lord? Your grace is sufficient for me? And not just for me, but for the whole world, every single last child? Blessed be your name!

"...for when I am weak, then I am strong."